Of Knots and More...

You must remember that if you have been forgotten you haven’t really been erased completely. In a dynamic context, you have just been kept aside to may be, yes may be, be brought up if and when the need arises. Inanimate though it may sound but such are the ways of people and there is very little that you can do about it.

You might yourself have forgotten people but this does not mean that you wouldn’t be happy to have them back. Therefore you haven’t really written them off your life. You see the difference. It’s just a temporary trend.

Take a piece of string. Coil it round your fingers and then tie a knot. Try pulling your fingers; you only end up tightening the knot. No matter how much you pull, no matter how hard you pull, the knot only tightens and if you try pulling back more strongly, the string snaps. The only way to put the string together again is by making another knot.

And knots indicate instability. They hint at struggle. At conflicts. They tell you that an attempt has been made here to undo things gone awry. That things have not really been very fine here. So do not try pulling at fragile continuities. The knot once formed remains. And worse still, they end up multiplying if bothered any further.

Being forgotten tends towards those knots. Having been erased is the knot formed.

You need not analyze your life based upon your knot counts. That would be naïve. For their formation is obligatory. The knots tell you of how life has been and how it should be ahead. They urge you to strive towards perfection.

The road towards perfection itself can never be just perfect. There will be deviations, severe differences within and with all, at times there will be obvious departures from the path chosen for not so obvious reasons-all of them misleading you and you drift away. And as you do so you know something is amiss. You know you need to get back. To what you were supposed to do. To what you’ve always wanted to do. To your chosen path to perfection .Without these trends perfection cannot be attained. Goals cannot be achieved. Aspirations cannot be justified. Opportunities cannot be optimized. Hopes cannot be tangibly assured.

So the knots formed on your road to perfection are crucial. And as mentioned earlier this clearly indicates that you’ve struggled-you’ve fought your way to perfection. So if knots are unnecessary when it comes to our emotional realm, their vitality is manifested in other spheres of our lives. And this sphere of influence can in no way be undervalued. One thing that needs to be understood is how hard you pull your string. For strings snap. Sometimes very easily.

So pull your string accordingly. Form your knots where and when the need arises. Undo them. Form the knots again. Only then is the loop completed. However, it isn’t all about knots after all. There always is more to it…

On your Birthday.

My flower of the day dropped its petals forgotten.
In the evening it ripens into a golden fruit of memory.

-Tagore
Stray Birds.

I am but only a reader reading your poems years after they first breathed. And yet I can feel that living joy and the glad voice which once must have echoed somewhere within you.

8th May.

Backdrop

The skies were a detached grey. The winds whispered secrets into the air and the trees intimately drew close to each other in order to listen to things that concerned them not. A sullen grumbling cloud wanted to tear itself open and finally let go. It towed along anyways. Hopeful. Some more fluffy grey fellows dragged behind.

It wasn’t really an impregnated state. There was motion. You could feel it flow. Within you and outside. But the horizons pulled back, moving away…expanding nothingness.

The winds tried to flirt with careless locks and the locks played along. Constantly being tucked behind by a conformist, they fought for their free space. The eyes tried avoiding confrontation, they were too hallowed to vandalize.

And in the midst of unplanned chaos the lover sang his song. A song of acute longing, of loss and of a yearning that could contract the being within. A song which beseeched the sun to shine and which implored time to rewind. A song which longed for tranquility.

As night stepped in stealthily, the obviousness of it was silently drawn in. The winds ceased and a lifeless calmness took over. A dead and unfinished picture finally captured. The clouds moved away for the stars to flicker. And a shy moon snuggled high up above. Breathing silently. While its loneliness hid behind a shield of never ending distance.

In control

I’ve always liked to believe that I’m totally capable of living my life on my own terms. I’ve always lived with this idea that irrespective of people, situations, emotions or chance it is me and only me who can make things happen in my life. Or simply put who can rework things in my life. This rigidity has lived so long with me now that even if I were to revise my belief I’d end up coming back to where I’d begun.

I do not know about the absolute accuracy of this idea of mine and fortunately or unfortunately I see no way in which I can get hold of any explicit verification measures. Of the little I’ve seen and been through I see no reason why I should make myself think otherwise.

True, we meet people; go through situations – both pleasant and unpleasant; face oppositions; live in doubt and fear; hold onto things that are constantly slipping away; experience insecurities and so much more. Yes, we do get affected in due course but if scrutinized to the micro level I’m sure even you’d agree that we actually let all this happen to us. More importantly we all know that at some point life had surely given us a chance where we could just halt, stand firmly and tell ourselves that we don’t need any of this clutter and save ourselves then and there. We always are given that one chance. However, the beings that we are and the love that we hold for over-rating life and its events, we fail to look at the simplified part of the entire process.

Thus, being miserable, discontented and scared. When all that we needed was a moment of firmness. I do not know if things are that simple or not but I’m sure that things ain`t that complicated either. We always have the freedom to live our lives our way. And that is how it should be.

I advocate for a complete individual control over one’s life. Irrespective of any thing what so ever. The decision to take the next step should be a personal one. Sound advices should be incorporated along the way but the power to control should reside with no one but me.