Discontentment galore...

Economics tells me man always wants more. I couldn’t agree less. I guess the most natural human behavior is to be discontented in every walk of life. Take me for instance; I am unhappy with every possible thing around me. Actually ‘unhappy’ could be replaced by a smooth ‘dissatisfaction’.

There’s dissatisfaction with what I do, where I go, who I interact with, the people I live with, the people I love, those who I hate…blah, blah, blah…everything seems to be topsy-turvy, everything seems to be ‘not fine’.

There’s this discontentment chained to my views, my hopes, my dreams, my desires, my convictions, my promises…making me weak, hollow…small.

If the discontentment could have been restricted to my higher self only, it would have mattered less. But even the usual regular affairs seem to be imperfect.

So when my room-mate asks me if I feel lonely without a steady boyfriend, I foolishly grin and say ‘not at all’. How preposterous of her to even ask a question like that. Or when another friend intellectually remarks that,”you don’t need a boyfriend or girlfriend to discover happiness; it lies within”…Oh yes, sir! It certainly does.

Or when every morning I lazily pull on my old jeans and try compensating it with a new T-shirt, there is dissatisfaction even in this meager action of mine…Nothing seems good, nothing seems perfect…oh yes, quite obviously I miss my metro and have to take the one which brings me to my class a good 10 minutes late…this time my Professor is dissatisfied…

The ridicules that life has till date offered me, my destiny is dissatisfied even with that…

If I was to deeply analyze, I have this feeling that I most probably will happen to ascertain that I’m actually not satisfied with my own self. Maybe not satisfied with what I have made myself into today. Maybe not satisfied with the decisions I have taken. Maybe not convinced about the fact that I’ll some day undo my mistakes. Or maybe, have been too lazy to pull myself up to actually do my job, the one assigned to me.

A sad life it is…actually no, a discontented one…

Boohooo…. :(

Starting out...

The morning is supposed to herald the day. It’s supposed to signify. It’s an initiation.

So is the start of one’s life. What exactly is the start of our life? Which phase in our lives can we coin as ‘the start’?

Is childhood the start? Is it the adolescent age or is it the emerging new adult? Or is every turning point in our life, a start? A rising….an upcoming?

Which is the optimum time to start out? To say to ourselves, “This is it!”
Is it a predetermined occurrence or is it by default?

Does one wake up one fine morning and say,” Today is the day!” Or is it an eventual progression? Does one personally notice this transition? Or is it absorbed unwittingly?

Can one do much to start out phenomenally? Or does the conventional Destiny intervene here as well? Are there starting out philosophies as well?

Does a lame start necessarily indicate a subdued road ahead? Is a phenomenal start so determining? What if one starts out late and lame? Is he/she ruined? Does it indicate an end to all anticipations after that?

Do we all have an equal footing to start out from? Are equal opportunities meted out to all of us? Are some of us deprived and some buried under the heavy gratitude? Is there any sign of consistent individualism in deciding one’s start?

Is this justified?

Will I ever have coherent answers to my questions?
May be…may be not!