Echo

It is not easy to let go, to take it all in and not even flinch. When I say it doesn’t matter, it matters all the more and how I wish you knew. That you understood that this silent uneasiness screams into me and I know into you as well.

It is not easy to let go when you’ve made promises. It hurts when you are cold. When you just don’t realize that all I need is a little bit of your warmth. It hurts when you walk away. From yourself. From me.

It is not easy to wait, when I know I can’t have you back. I never shall. It’s funny how every time this irresolute realm stretches to the wideness which neither you nor I can encompass. Taking it in is an intricate concept now.

It is not easy to be not scared. To not step back and turn away. It seems an irrational thing now of what was and what is. Yes, I’m afraid of losing you. Unsuspecting if I’ve already lost you. I could have.

It is not easy to feel good and not think about you. It is not easy to move ahead and not want to have you by my side. It feels empty. It feels ruthless and unfair. It feels like a battle fought without purpose. It feels like coming back to an empty house and never having back that little home.

It is not easy to believe that you are happy without me. That when you say life goes on you really don’t cringe within. To believe that you have indeed grown up and I haven’t. That I still find my little goldfish in a bowl fascinating.

It is not easy to sit back and put all those strewn pieces together again. For some pieces though wearyingly aligned, cannot put back the picture together again ‘cause some pieces still remain crumpled up in your tightened fist. And I know I shall never have them back.

No Rides For Free...

There are no rides for free
We flock to the one
Who’s known for the best deal.
One day we have the sun
Most days we don’t…
We whine we whimper
We dance to the faintest of tunes
Oblivious to the distant storm.

We dream a dream
Of what seems real
And what it is not…
We sing of yellow flowers
Of lovely maidens
Living in a far away land…
We weave our story
Around what exists not.

We thrive. We breathe.
We live: for that’s what
We're here for.
We hum. We plead.
We praise our savior
In our times of need.
This is our paradise.
Or is this our life?

We care not if it’s indigo
Or the mushy lilac hue.
We care not if its day
Or a dark magical mystic night.
We ho-hum all the way
Not halt for a moment to ask
Is that where we’re headed to…
Or is this where we belong?

Because of You...

Darling look high above
The sky glows for you
The night sings to you
It’s all because of you…

Touch a star
And see it shine
It’s your dream
And it all shall be true…

Look inside
You’ll feel it grow
That faith of mine
Holding on to you…

The night whispers
Look how it smiles to you
It wants to be with you
Darling it’s all because of you…

(Written for a special someone when I was 17)