Pehchaan

Aisa nahi hai ki khud ko pehchaanti nahi. Aisa bhi nahi hai ki khud ko pehchaanti hoon...
Naam hai. Chehra hai. Kya itna kafi nahi hai...
Chaaro aur ek kohra sa nazar aata hai. Kohre ke us taraf ek shor sunaai padta hai. Is taraf sannata hai. Kisse zyada darr lagta hai, yeh ab tak samajh nahi paayi hoon.

Kahaaniyan ab bhi likhti hoon. Kirdaar bhi wahin hain. Un main bhi khud ko paaya hai. Un main bhi khud ko khoya hai...
Kahaaniyon ne kuch sikhaya bhi hai. Aaj jo itni badi badi baatein kar rahi hoon. Mere puraane pehchaan ka shayad naya hissa hai.
Akeli nahi hoon. Bheed hai bahut yehaan. Akelepan ki chaah hai...
Yeh raasta bhi mujhe pasand nahi. Waqt bhi shayad thoda naraaz hai...
Manzil tak pahuchne ki jaldi bhi nahi...
Kya karna hai shayad yeh maloom bhi nahi.
Par thehraav ke liye koi jagah nahi meri pehchaan main. Paristhitiyon ko badalna hai. Aage badna hai...

Dheeme paanv tumhe aate sunaa tha. Aahista aahista wahaan se uthh khud ko jaate bhi suna tha.
Khat tumhaare saath nahi ab mere. Saath rakhna par chaha tha...
Manzil se tumne mujhe milaya tha ya mere manzil ko mujhse cheena tha...
Sitaron se aaj bhi baatein karti hoon, pata hai...
Ek se toh pyaar bhi ho gaya hai. Miloge usse kabhi toh jaanoge, tum jaisa woh bhi bahut saare sawaal poochta hai.
Par mere pehchaan ka hissa to na tum kabhi the na woh ab hai...

Dost mera badlaav se darta hai. Badlaav shayad mujhse. Dekhona shayad isliye kuch bhi nahi badla.
Wahi kalam. Wahi kaagaz. Wahi khayal. Wahi kami...
Kehta hai itna kya sochna. Kehta hai apna khayal rakho. Shayad darta hai ki badlaav kahin uske dost ko bhi na badalde.
Samjhaaongi kabhi use bhi...
Abhi mujhe kahin aur jaana hai...
Door...
Bahut door...
Haan...theekane ka bhi to pata lagana hai...

Aisa nahi ki khud ko pehchaanti nahi. Aisa bhi nahi hai ki khud ko pehchaanti hoon...