On his Birthday...

The time that my journey takes is long and the way of it long.

I came out on the chariot of the first gleam of light, and pursued my

voyage through the wildernesses of worlds leaving my track on many a star and planet.

It is the most distant course that comes nearest to thyself,

and that training is the most intricate which leads to the utter simplicity of a tune.

The traveler has to knock at every alien door to come to his own,

and one has to wander through all the outer worlds to reach the innermost shrine at the end.

My eyes strayed far and wide before I shut them and said `Here art thou!'

The question and the cry `Oh, where?' melt into tears of a thousand

streams and deluge the world with the flood of the assurance `I am!'

Gitanjali.

It's Tagore's birthday today. And had it not been because of googling through some course notes today morning, I would have missed my favorite poet's birthday.

I've loved the man through each one of my growing-up days. And continue to do so even today as I continue to grow...

Happy Birthday.
7th May.

My blog had been painted 'black' for so long that the colour seemed to permeate to other domains as well.
And I also needed some change. So I got myself a new haircut and a 'new-dressed' blog. :D

I'm happy as of now.

Tere Khat...

Hamesha main hi tumhe khat kyun likhoon.

Mera bhi mann hota hai ki main bhi kabhi tumhaare khatoin ka jawaab likhne baithoon...
Kuch roothi si kuch sochti hui main bhi der raat tak ek kalam aur ek kaagaz liye ghantoin baithe sochti rahoon. Aur jaise tum khidki pe baithe kabhi kabhi chaand ko takte rehte ho, theek usi tarah main bhi khidki se bahar kaali chaadar odhe us raat ko dekhti rahoon jo ab khatm hone ko hai...tab khatm hone ko hai...

Us din jab tumne hum dono ke saath hone ki wajeh zaroorat batayi thi...
Tab yaad hai kitni ladai ki thi maine. Aur tumne bhi use apni ek nadaani keh taal diya tha.
Shayad bhool gaye hoge tum.
Shayad tumhe yaad ho...
Aaj jab tumhaare baare mein sochti hoon toh lagta hai shayad tum sahi the.
Haan shayad woh tumhaari kehfiyat... mehej ek kehfiyat nahi thi.

Aaj jab tum saath nahi ho mere, aur sirf tumhaare kuch khat reh gaye hain mere paas...
Toh har ek khat mein bas kuch adoore se jawaab hi mile mujhe.
Kya har sawaal main hi kiya karti thi...
Shayad haan...dekhona aaj bhi main hi sawaal kar rahi hoon...

Mujhe pata hai aaj bhi aksar tum mere khat liye baith jaate hoge
Ghantoin unhe takte rehte hoge.
Agar kabhi tum wahaan kuch likho toh bata dena
Mere an-ginat kore pannoin mein shayad zindagi kuch gunguna de...

I am a woman.
I am the genesis of origin. I am the one who brings forth life.

I create. I am the beginning. The one who heralds life. I am that omen which speaks of the times to come. Within me emerges the desire - the form. I am the precursor of glory and also of gloom. I am the story. I am the start.

I am joy. I am pleasure. I am love and I am lust. I am worshipped and yet I sin. I am the change and I am also the one who thwarts. I am in prayers. I am in transgression. I am a lover’s pride and at times his scorn.

I am passion. I am beauty. I am in your art.
I am the desire - That which sometimes you hesitate to speak of.

I am the mother. I am the wife. I am torn into a thousand parts. And yet I stoop and pick you up.
And as I collect the scattered remains and gather each of them round my bosom, I fall another time. I die a million deaths.


On Women's Day, 8th March.

17th Feb...

And then I saw you in my life…

Into that part of me which belonged to me and no one else. Which was mine. And now is ours.

I don’t want a thing changed, not a single event repeated or redone. I want it this ways and nothing else will do. Because this is beautiful. And it belongs to us.

It rose from within us and has grown to encompass us, our world. Life with you has just begun…
But it seems as if this is how it always was…this is how it always will be…

Happy Anniversary to Us.
I love you.

Semi-Charmed Life...

Same time around last year, I was simply unable to keep myself away from typing too much of me in this blessed blog of mine. And here I am today unable to draw together enough matter to fill up between my yesterday and my today.

And to think of it I’m sure there needs to be a more worthy confluence of mind and matter to fill up this sequential gap. It’s true. You cannot create ripples without a stone but you can sure ask the wind to do the needful. That’s just how my life is. Everything seems to have found a certain corner for itself. Each having been assigned a purposeful task of it’s own without being overtly dependent on the ‘stone’.

There is momentary purpose. Yes, there is. But then somewhere down the line I can see it merging with a steady state of prolonged hope. And that is distracting - to not know of the Uncertain.

This Hope somehow disturbs my symmetry. It makes me look for feasible options. And I can’t stick to my pre-determined state.
But to mould this Hope accordingly is to give life my own distinctive meaning. There are no imprecise connections and there are no ornamental ideologies. It’s simple. And it’s straight.

There is a quiet relief in the way things are right now. But to think of today as my tomorrow is again discomforting. And the way ahead is a blur. Like always.

But then today is much more fascinating than yesterday. There is love, there is life and there is so much escalation. And this is more comforting than anything else. To shed the regrets and to let things and days pick up on their own accord is my way now.

Tomorrow shall come too. And it too shall blend with my now. What I shall see at the end is a kind of continuity. And God-willing that too shall be well etched…

Encompassing life and undeniably much more…

My New Love ;)

It's all music to my ears :P
Thanks Bro :)

Pink

There’s a groovy flow in the air around me. Life indeed is pink right now. I feel like a young woman sitting by herself in a café with a cup of coffee, by choice. And watching the world move in and out of that small café. And the warmth of the coffee warms me inside. And it feels nice.

Right now everything in my near and distant panorama seems to have acquired a tender glow. I do not know if everything indeed is in such high spirits but then why bother. It’s mighty blissful this way and whoever’s complaining.

And there certainly is more than a single reason for it all.

:)

While in Love...

This one’s for you love…

Love happened to me pretty early in life. I say early because I’m still a month short of being twenty and it’s already been more than three years since I’ve known him. And love happened eventually over the years.

Being in love is magical. It’s like a dream you’d want never to end. For me love was always a serious affair. I never believed in the trial-and-error method. It was destined to be grand. By grand I do not mean the magnitude or the enormity of the whole concept. It’s not about the depth or the expanse either. It’s about something that is unfathomable and thereby cannot be explained. Love was always an immaculate concept for me.

And pure it is. Absolutely free of malice, it stands strong.

One of the most amazing things about love is the way one discovers oneself in the process. Sometimes you just stop for a moment and think was that really me. Did I really say all that? Take me for instance; I always believed I was one of the most unromantic souls around. And boy, am I romantic now! I surprise myself at times. All those quirky lines that I come up with at times, trust me, I absolutely leave myself baffled at that. And my guy can but only smile.

It’s amazing how the little things that are just between the two people in love become the most cherished belongings. Like those little embarrassing events which you wouldn’t want anyone else to know but him. And then smile every time he brings it up. That’s the thing about love.

It tickles you. It makes you smile when it’s all grey. And you know that this is life and it’s beautiful.

Then the first few things that love brings along are the ones that stay with you forever. Etched somewhere deep down, it feels as if it were only yesterday. Like your first kiss. Or your first rose. Or in that case your first walk in the rain together. Or maybe dreaming for the first time together. Those first warm, ticklish, whispered I-love-you-s. Or maybe that first shared cup of cappuccino. Each one of them is a priceless memory. And timeless they shall be.

I’ve learnt to care while in love. I’ve learnt to share. I’ve learnt to put someone else before myself in my prayers. I’ve learnt to be happy. And I’ve learnt to appreciate. To value things before they are lost forever.

While in love, life happened to me. And it has been wonderful ever since…

The picture...

“A bleak picture is all I see”

“Look closely…what do you see?”

“I see dust.”

“And…”

“I think I see an orange sky…”

“It is the sky. And amidst the dust…do you see something?”

“I see a stretch of nothingness. I see vastness. And I see how sterile it is.”

“Why is nothingness always barren?”

“Nothingness is barren…maybe because it cannot create.”

“Why can’t it be complete in itself?”

“I don’t know…maybe because it needs someone to confirm that it indeed is complete.”

“And beyond the vastness…do you see anything else?”

“I see silence.”

“And that is discomforting?”

“No it is unaffecting. It fails to touch me.”

“Do you see anything beyond the skies?”

“Yes.”

“And what is that…?”

“I see satiation.”

“Funny…you said that.”

“I know sky is supposed to be limitless. Though I somehow strongly feel that this is where it ends. This is where it’s supposed to die. To end here and never begin.”

“Is there anything else that you see?”

“I don’t know why but I find the dust concealing something.”

“Concealing…like concealing what?”

“I wouldn’t know…would I? It’s covered. Hidden.”

“You could guess.”

“I think it conceals life. It conceals you and me. It proclaims desolation while concealing joy. It conceals simplicity. It conceals purity. It conceals the colors while depicting an unaccustomed anguish.”

“And you thought it was a barren picture…”

“I knew it was bleak till I looked closer.”